One day during this year’s winter break, my mom and I were in the car going to pick up my brother from school. Asking her what the topic of my Chapel Talk should be, she said, with a smirk on her face, “Talk about me.”  Well, mom, you’re getting what you wished for. 

The home I grew up in was always busy during the morning. Going back to when I was in first grade and my brother was in Pre-K, I remember my mother’s voice projected into our room telling us to wake up for school. Despite it being so long ago, I remember the exact process I would go through every morning to go to elementary school. Between my brother and me, I would usually be the first one to wake up and take a shower. We would have breakfast at this small green, kiddie table that separated the dining room from our living room. By the time I sat down to eat my well-toasted Eggo waffle, Nicholas would be coming out of the shower. His lax approach to getting ready prompted many shouts from my mom, encouraging him to hurry up. The colder the weather outside, the more difficult it was for my mom to force my brother and me to put on multiple layers. This only delayed our departure for school. 

During our walk to the car, I would see my mom with multiple bags in her hand, and wonder how in the world she could carry that much stuff. Once in the car, I watched in awe: my mom skillfully outmaneuvered slow drivers, swerved through lanes, all while doing her makeup. And then my mom would come to a sudden stop, dropping my brother and me off near the school’s entrance. I would see my mom zip away from my view, occasionally passing through a red light if she was in a rush. 

My mom did more for me than I did for myself those mornings. She was the one who put the waffles in the toaster right before waking me up, timing it perfectly so that it would pop soon after I got out of the shower. She assembled my outfits and laid them on the couch every morning. While preparing for her own day at work, she was getting me and my brother ready as well. Since then, I have marveled at her ability to multi-task and operate efficiently under pressure. In fact, it’s been something I’ve tried to replicate in my life. My mom represents my idea of hard work. 

Having the opportunity to attend middle school in Manhattan prompted a change in my morning routine. My commute went from a simple five minute car ride to an hour and a half bus ride depending on the traffic. But I was fortunate enough to do it with my father.

Around 5:30 every morning, I quietly leaped from the top of my bunk bed so as to not wake my brother at the bottom. In the same position at the same time every morning, I saw my dad with his razor in hand and  with shaving cream lathered on his face. He was always the first to wake up. Rather than eating an Eggo waffle for a quick breakfast, I had more time to make myself eggs. In case I was running late, my dad was the first to walk to the bus stop on the corner of our street. I remember sometimes where I had to make a run for it, seeing my dad slow his walk onto the bus in order to delay the driver. On the bus, my dad had his system. He spent the first half of the bus ride, reading his book, usually a James Patterson or Stuart Woods’ novel. Once we reached the midtown tunnel to enter the city, he put his book back into his backpack and shut his eyes until the bus neared his stop. Before getting off at his stop, he would make sure that I was awake to get off at the next stop. On the way home, if we were lucky we would catch the same bus. 

My dad has worked at the same hotel for nearly twenty-five years now. Before and during my three school years with him, his routine never changed. I would see him go to bed way before me in order to get enough rest to prepare for his next twelve hour work day. As a young child, I threw tantrums when he worked an overtime shift and refused to take any sick days. I’m grateful enough to say he is here today. As I grew older, though, and I got a job myself, I realized why he made such sacrifices. He didn’t only work to provide for himself, but he worked to provide for the people around him, the people he cared for. My dad is my idea of consistent and passionate work. 

During my school years at home, I succeeded in approaching my habits and schoolwork the same way I saw my parents approach their work. However, when coming to Groton, I sensed a change in my environment. In order to fully immerse myself in the boarding school experience, I felt that I needed to distance myself from my life back home, including my parents. In doing so, I unknowingly abandoned the lessons and values I had admired from my mom and dad. It wasn’t until the first time I went back home for Thanksgiving break that I recognized what I had lost. After seeing my parents for the first time since leaving, everything came flooding back to me. 

It wasn’t just the work ethic that my parents instilled in me. It was my mom’s capacity to cry at any given moment that taught me it was okay to express emotion. It was my dad’s lighthearted attitude that taught me not to take things so seriously all the time. And it was a mix of the two that expanded my music taste towards Rock ‘n Roll and R&B. But while being with them was nice, I realized it was not their presence that I felt was missing at Groton. The values I modeled my day after at home were the same values I should have been prioritizing at Groton. Once I started doing that, I felt like myself again. I felt like a true part of the community, a community that thrives on each other’s differences. 

Many of you may see Groton as a fresh start and that is totally understandable. But it is easy to lose sight of your past in response to building a life at Groton. What I am trying to say is to not forget where you come from. That sibling, parent or parental figure that raised you or that you grew up with should be an essential part of your present and future, not just your past. The lessons and experiences you absorbed from them before coming here are a large part of who you are anywhere and who you will be. Even if you see Groton as a fresh start, the mistakes you made in your life outside of this place can be learned from and applied here. The values you hold outside of this place should be the same ones you hold within the Circle.