A School Birthday Message of Compassion, Humility

Happy Birthday Groton School!

 

Groton turned 136 years old on October 15, amidst sunny skies and colorful foliage, marking the day with an inspiring, down-to-earth chapel talk about humility and kindness.

 

With humor and relatable stories, guest speaker Lanny Thorndike ’84, P’14, ’16, ’21 encouraged students to recognize the power of cultivating strong values, acknowledging that each person at times "will be faced with a difficult decision, that proverbial fork in the road, where your moral compass wants to go one way and your emotional ego wants to take a different path.”

 

He confessed a searing moment of personal humiliation at a friend's wedding, when he accidentally tripped the bride on the dance floor as he tried to imitate a handspring from a popular 1980s movie. It was a moment of huge embarrassment, “with the crowd receding away from me like an outgoing tide,” but also a lesson in graceful forgiveness that still influences his actions some thirty years later.

 

Incredulous when the groom told him, "It could have happened to anyone," Mr. Thorndike internalized that surprising compassion. It left an indelible impression, ultimately making Mr. Thorndike more measured and thoughtful. He said that he thinks back to the wedding scene from time to time, and even let its lesson guide him toward compassion rather than revenge or impulse during a particularly difficult business situation. 

“Never underestimate the power of your forgiveness to help someone else become a better person,” Mr. Thorndike said.

 

The speaker also shared the simple, wise advice of Ann Tottenham, his own Sacred Texts teacher at Groton. She frequently reminded students to consider before speaking: “Is it nice or is it necessary?" 

 

Mr. Thorndike considers those words to live by, and he advised students to examine what is driving their own words before uttering them. “Throughout your life’s journey, you will make many more decisions based on your emotions than on the evidence of facts in front of you, so you need to be honest when assessing how your emotional truths are influencing your own moral compass,” he said.

 

He tied his birthday chapel talk to the school motto, Cui servire est regnare (For whom service is perfect freedom), saying, “Service implies a benefit to others, outside yourself.”

 

Mr. Thorndike’s morning message provided an education in humility based on life experiences. “At Groton and more importantly after Groton, will you be willing to tolerate stupid mistakes by others?” he asked. “Can you make fun of your own faults? As I get older, I find a sense of humor and humility become more important with time."

The message was both enduring and timely. “In this age of polarizing partisanship, when you disagree with someone, can you be quick to listen but slow to talk?" he asked. "Do you have the humility to realize that you might be at least partially wrong at least half the time?”

 

Groton’s birthday, like everything else, is different in 2020 than in years past. Pandemic protocols require a quiet celebration, as gathering in groups and even singing are not permitted. But a message about the power of kindness and empathy is a fine placeholder until we can gather again to wish Groton a happy birthday.